Getting the Free Ride
So I’m at my local supermarket standing in line at the Deli, when an older woman comes up and asks to try the roasted pork. I suppose that’s a reasonable request seeing as you don’t want to buy pounds of the shit before you finger out you can’t stand it due to a traumatic childhood experience with a pork roast that you have been subconsciously blocking out all these years. Of course the current supply of roast pork is low, so the meat-tender (is that what they’re called?) had to go to the back and get a new one to slice. When she returned, the old woman was gone. Not one to leave a request unfulfilled, the meat-maid sliced off the first couple of pieces and set them aside in case she came back.
Since the old woman was gone, I placed my order for 1.5 lbs of Maple Ham and 1 lb of Swiss (the correct sandwich proportion, imo). While putting my order together, I notice the old woman slowly making her way back towards the Deli area, but stopping at the bakery section first. Now, this supermarket is one of those kid friendly establishments that offers free cookies to the little curtain climbers, in the hopes that you wont stay home because you are too embarrassed of your children and will in fact bring them with you in order to infect the rest of the world with their pleasant behavior once they’ve downed the metric ton of sugar contained in each cookie. Well, the old woman stops and asks the cookie-monger (not sure thats the correct title either) for one of the cookies found in the kid case. Clearly not wanting to start a fight, the cookie-mistress gave in and presented her with a cookie. Now that the old one has her free cookie sample, she makes her way back to the deli.
I’m just about finished getting my order when she arrives for her free sample of roast pork to go along with her free sample of kid-flavored cookies. The woman behind the counter (see? I’ve already run out of names for her) offers the previously set aside portion of free meat to the woman and after eating it, the woman asks “Can I get another piece? This one was too fatty”. Seriously? I thought for sure that the Meat-n-Greeter (Ok, I had one more, but it wasnt very good) was going to roll her eyes so hard that one would pop out of her skull. After receiving her SECOND free sample of pork, she decided that she didnt like it and moved on.
I thought I had seen the last of her at this point, but when I went to checkout, there was Aunt Freebie using the free phone behind the managers desk (the kind of phone that has a 70′ cord between the ear piece and the receiver… and it was stretched its maximum length to reach across the counter to the general admission area of the store). Next to her was a basket full of groceries all bagged up and a dozen roses in the top compartment…. clearly she decided to buy something. When she hangs up the phone, I’m just about to pay when she walks over to my line and addresses the cashier. “Did I come through this line?” she asks. “Yes.” “OK, well I can’t pay for these groceries, so I’m just going to leave the basket over here”
…
Wat just happened?
ANOTHER Blog?
So yea… I decided that I might as well blog here for my RL stuff as well, and since I already have the Second Life blog at http://secondlifeseriously.wordpress.com then I might as well call this one First Life, Seriously?©. For all 3 of you out there that check these, know that I’ll try to keep the content separate, but I can’t guarantee that there won’t be some overlap. You’ll note on the top of my page here that I refer to the real life adventures of Giskard (My SL Name) / Siddhartha (My every other game name) / .paul (just me). Sometimes I treat them like different people, and sometimes we are all the same. Regardless, here is my opening blog and I’ll post more as appropriate.
